Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Losing My Edge

Hello, my name is Nadz and i am just ordinary.
I just checked my trial results. I got a mere ABC.
A C for god's sake. A friccking C. A C for my Economics paper. Unbelievable, unacceptable. Economics is an important paper, even more important than Accounting but less important than math, i must say. Still am in a state of denial. I really thought that I had sufficient knowledge relating to Economics.
I personally thought that the essay that i wrote for paper 4 was one of my better essays.
Maybe I completely went out of topic for the 25 marks essay or i screwed up my 20 marks data.
There is nothing more that I want to do now then take a look at my Econ's paper and see what I have done wrong. I would like to know whether the mistakes are purely due to misinterpretation of the question or I had weak knowledge on the subject matter. The latter should be worse.

I accepted my Accounting results with less hair-pulling. A B for accounts was just ok for me, actually I was expecting a C(question 1 for paper 4 was too tough) Whatever it is, the B was a pretty weak B which just enhances the fact that I am slipping and fading away academically. What in the world is happening to me?

Thankfully I got an A for maths, and it was a weak A, no surprise there. I am just trying to take in all the dissapointment gradually without beating myself up about it. I wish that someone would just slap me and tell me off for obtaining lower than my usual grades. That might drive me to study or maybe it might motivate me to study upon knowing I am a good for nothing.

What were parents reaction? Mum just said 'its ok, u know, a-levels is tough, and its just trials. at least now you won't be overconfident.' Uhm....thats all. Shocker.

I am now officially underpressure. I am pressure induced, since there is no pressure from parents. Starting from tomorrow I will start flipping through my Economics notes and start writing essays and practicing data and doing accounts because I never ever ever want to see that C ever again (and that B too), especially not for my real A2 results. Insyaallah.

1 comment:

Sara said...

hey...itz ok. at least u want to improve n now u have the motivation!! letz not online!!