This week has been quite a bad week for me. I have never been covered with so many grey rain-filled clouds in 5 consecutive days. To start off, I cried twice this week, which is bad enough. To make matters worse, 2 people around me cried the very same week. I hardly ever feel sad, let alone cry. I myself am very shocked and embarrassed at my own emo behaviour. Tears are a sign of weakness and I do not want people seeing me as somone who is vulnerable or fragile.
The first tears to roll down my face was due to something totally absurd. I wrote it all down in my previous entry. I was most definitely PMSing and nothing else. Sometimes the cramps in your stomach might lead you to pessimistic thoughts or overthinking small meaningless gestures. I am totally fine now and I dont hold a grudge or hatred towards anyone anymore. I apologise for acting so stupid.
The tears that rolled down my face today was a SIGNIFICANT one. I am extremely worried for A2 TRIALS which is in TWO weeks. It would be very hard for me to even just get one A out of the three subjects that I am taking.
MATHS - I havent started studying statistics for maths. I am absorbing 0% of what is thought in math class becausse mr kumar is now teaching from the book and he rarely writes notes on the board. As for me, I most definitely need the teacher to write down notes on the board so that I can copy the notes so that i can refer to it later on. today i listened to 'see you again' by miley cyrus on Sara's Ipod while mr kumar asks us to do some hypothesis question in the stats book. i didnt do it, of course.
ACCOUNTS - I havent done any MCQ questions yeat. I just gave a look at it today. OMG. Everything is soo factual and technical with not much calculation required questions. What?? Why??The paper 4 is alrite but i am taking a much much longer time to answer the questions than the short two hours allocated for the paper.
ECONS - economics = japanese. can i speak japanese? not a single word. need i say more? this basically applies to the topic of money, unemployment, all the fiscal and monetary policies. PHILIPS CURVE!! and data.....forgot about data....haha haha macro economy is making my life complicated. essays in the redspot book is not accurate enough. where else can i refer to? who am i suppose to turn to?
and......i did not study much during this whole week due to unexpected headaches throughout the week.
Cute boy in the library made me slightly happy though. *yay* Now i see him at my block as well. i just found out that he also has classes there *double yay*. He looks quite pissed off lately, maybe due to exam stress aswell or he realised that i always check him out and he is fed-up about it.. maybe the latter. *frowns*
I have IELTS exam romorrow at TBS. I hope my brain can think straight tomorrow and this lethargicness to go away. Insyaallah, i will do well.
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3 comments:
I'm not sure what I can say or do that will solve your problems because it would be like Chikezie teaching David Hernandez how to striptease.
But anyway if you study psychology these kind of things can be due to A LOT of factors.
1. The environment might make you lazy to study.
2. Your genes might have laziness in it. No offence.
3. Because you're female and you're a teen you are conserving energy to get pregnant next time. (I read this in a book. Seriously.)
4. Too much pressure turns you off and makes you paralysed.
5. You are too deeply in love to think.
6. You are too deep in other emotions to think.
7. You might have PMS.
8. You might have menopause.
9. Your unhealthy eating habits causes the chemicals in your brain to be disorganized and your functions unable to perform at optimal level.
Okay I am so not helping you I am just giving you tons of excuses to justify your behaviour but the point is you shouldn't be too harsh on yourself. Just don't go into substance abuse or whatever. Different people have different things that motivates them and you will find yours but of course sometimes we still slack but that does not make us a failure. Again I learnt this in psycho.
Good luck don't worry. If you need a push I can give you one. If not I'll just give you love.
xoxo
Thanks for writing such a long comment. I am perfectly fine now, its just one of those days i guess. i am FINE *smiling* and i will study stats tonite. My ielts exam was ok. yippie. I dont think i have any of the symptoms that u stated above, maybe just the pms, a really extreme one but thats all over and i am completely fine now. omg.i actually thought about danny during my ielts test. *hehe*
my god. tell me bout ur ielts test. did u get nervous? wat did they ask u for the speaking part? im reli nervous. i hope u can help me wif the speaking part by interviewing me. lol.
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